Whenever we talk about women being killed by police officers or in domestic violence, people come back with “Not all men”.
We hear about women being criticised all the time, such as women drivers! Women are sluts, etc. Women are talked about in the most disgusting way. Rugby supporters are upset because they are no longer allowed to sing Delilah, even though it is about killing a woman. Approximately 2 women a week are killed every year. On International Women’s Day, as usual, the MP Jess Phillips reads out the names of all the women who have been killed this year. There were 3 male MPs in the Chamber! It is sad to think that male MPs do not think women’s lives are important. Women are their constituents as well.
However, it is important to say that men are victims of male violence also. The male MPs should have been supporting Jess because they can be victims too. We can all be victims of male violence, but it is just that there are more women victims.
An example is the latest victim, Libby Squire. She was murdered by a man who started by masturbating in public. Her mother said, “Not all non-contact sexual offenders will become rapists, but every rapist was a non-contact sexual offender at one point”.
So I would say about “Not all men”; DON’T SAY IT!
Men who don’t do violence should be standing up and saying: “Yes, men who do all these things give us a bad name and we should speak up against them.”
When that woman head teacher and her children were killed by her husband, an article in the Daily Mail suggested that she was killed because she was an overachiever. So it is her fault. What are these people thinking? It is ridiculous and wicked. A man can be clever but a woman can’t and if she is, she deserves to be killed? V
ile theories on social media against the late Nicola Bulley, who was missing for a while, appeared constantly. Even the police tried to make out that she had mental problems.Trolls are on Facebook attacking women all the time. LET US STOP THIS NONSENSE NOW.
Although men are more likely to die violently than women, there is no doubt that the overwhelming majority of violence against women is done by MEN and the vast majority of violence against men is done by MEN. So we, men and women, both of us, have a common enemy: MALE VIOLENCE.
Men should realise that the same system in our society that produces men who murder and assault women also produces men who murder and assault men.
Men should start working with women. Instead of being defensive and taking it personally, we need men to stand with us against the men of violence. Men should not assume that women are “bashing “ them mentally. Men should not assume that women are anti-men. What they are, are anti-men of violence. They are really speaking up for their own dignity and basic right to walk free from the fear of sexual violence and /or death. Surely men, who are not men of violence, would agree with that.
How do we define violence. Well, there are 5 basic forms: verbal, physical, sexual, psychological and socio-economic. The result of some of these lead to femicide and homicide and most of this is done by men.
An important example for women is jogging. The harassment can range from catcalls and being followed to assault and sexual assault. The editor of Runner’s World said, “84% of women have been harassed while running and 70% of men have not, so it is a hugely gendered problem”. There are many tips for women to try to keep themselves safe while running: 1. Don’t run in the dark. 2. Don’t run in isolated areas etc. – lots of don’ts. It reminds me of a time years ago when Golda Meir was Prime Minister of Israel, there were a great many rapes around Tel Aviv. It was discussed in their parliament. One of the male MPs suggested that women have a curfew so they are not on the streets to be raped. Golda Meir said that they should not punish the victims and so as men are committing these crimes, she would be very happy for men to have a curfew so that they would be off the streets. It was never mentioned again.
These tips for women’s safety for jogging are again blaming the victim. Women have to take care and lose their freedoms because of men’s behaviour. Wouldn’t it be wonderful,if, when men are catcalling from a car, that the other men in the car would shout down their friends and take a stand to ensure that they see how horrible it is. When men are being offensive about women, their friends should stand up to the plate and bring that sort of conversation to an end.
My dream is that men and women can work together as equals, be together as equals, love as equals, talk as equals and that male violence, violence against men and women, would disappear forever. Maybe one day…
