Hayley T wheeler specialises in working with adults and children on improving their mental health and wellbeing, she has herself taken some time to process this situation while supporting her own children to adapt to the changes. Here she offers tips on helping children understand their own reaction to this situation and reduce their anxiety
If your child is struggling with anxiety or worries in this current situation here are some things to think about. Families across the globe have been impacted by the current situation, before we start with supporting your child, here are some things to consider.
Are you as a family used to routine? What has changed for your family? How are you all reacting to it? How are you managing it How are you all talking about it? Where do you get your information from?
Does your child have all the information they need to make sense of the situation or could they be hearing snippets so are unable to make sense of it? Your child has a perception of what is going on, they have gathered information and are still or have come up with a version of the information. What they do understand or not may be at the heart of their anxiety. They may believe they or someone they love is going to die. They may be struggling to make sense of it. To help them make sense of their understanding of how they are responding to it have a supportive conversation with them. They might have a fear or worry they don’t know about yet, but it’s affecting them. When they are calm, it might be beneficial to sit down and draw / mindmap / list or discuss what they understand about the situation, how they are feeling, thinking and what their self talk is. *consider where they may be getting information about it.
Here are some suggested questions to ask: (you know your child best, consider age and understanding)
What do you know about the situation? What do you think about it? What have you heard or seen? What are your friends saying about it? How does it make you feel? How do your friends feel about it? What do your friends think about it? What words are you using in your head to make sense of it? Do you have any fears or worries about it?
Explore the impact it’s had on them, what do they feel they have lost as a result of the situation. Figure out what they need to feel safe.
Suggested questions: What changed in your life as a result of lockdown? How do you feel about those changes? What can we do to help you feel safe, secure, happy, etc?
Maybe they need a plan, maybe they just need to know it’s going to be ok today.
Deep breathing is good but it needs to be practiceed a lot to become a skill they can use for self soothing. Practice as often as you can throughout the day. You may want to do it together. If you have any questions please get in touch.
www.hayleytwheeler.co.uk
E:hayley@hayleytwheeler.co.uk
T: 07966 189084
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