“I didn’t realise that I was a victim and that men suffer from Domestic Abuse.” The words of John, who discovered he was a victim while surfing the internet.
“I was just online looking at different websites when I discovered Respect: Mens Advice Line (https://mensadviceline.org.uk/). I was reading about what Domestic Abuse is, especially coercive control and realised it was happening to me.”
Coercive Control is when an abuser is manipulating and controlling you. It could be through intimidation, threats, humiliation or isolating you from your support networks. If, that happens, they’re using coercive control.
Research by the Office for National Statistics into Domestic Abuse found that:
- In 2024/25, 1 in 15 men said they were a victim of domestic abuse.
- In 2024/25, 1 in 20 men said they were a victim of partner/ex-partner abuse.
- 1 in 5 men have been a victim of partner abuse in their lifetime.
- 1 in 14 men have been a victim of family abuse in their lifetime.
However, men like John don’t see themselves as victims.
CETMA’s Carmarthenshire Domestic Abuse Prevention and Awareness Raising (DAPAR) Project which is funded by Connecting Carmarthenshire’s Micro-Commissioning Fund have a campaign running which is aimed at providing support information to Male victims.
Men like John suffer from Domestic Abuse and when it happens, they need to speak to someone and get help, which he did. However, men are less likely to report domestic abuse due to there being a stigma around it, e.g. they won’t be taken seriously because they can be stronger and must be ‘MEN’.
“I didn’t realise at first that I was a victim. I felt embarrassed, ashamed and inadequate. How could I be a man and let it happen?”
Luckily, John realised that he is a victim and sought help by contacting one of the many helplines available. His recovery journey has started, but there are still too many men not coming forward who are victims.
Remember the Project Tagline, ‘There’s no EXCUSE for ABUSE!’
If you are currently experiencing Domestic Abuse then the most important thing you can do is keep yourself and any family members safe and ring 999 in an emergency.
Please contact one of these local and national contacts for support:
- Calan DVS (Amman Valley) – 01269 597474
- CarmDas: 01267 238410
- Threshold DAS: 01554 752422
- Stori: 01437 768671
- Goleudy: 01267226039
- Live Fear Free: Call 0808 80 10 800 or Text: 07860077333
- Refuge (National Domestic Abuse Helpline): 0808 2000 247
- Survivors UK for man, boy or non-binary person: 020 3322 1860 by sim text
- The National Centre for Domestic Violence: 0844 8044 999
- Victim Support: 0808 1689 111
- Mens Advice Helpline: 0808 8010327
Homelessness
If you have nowhere to stay tonight or are concerned you could become homeless call Carmarthenshire County Council on 01554 899389 during office hours (8:45am – 5pm, Monday – Thursday. Friday 8:45am – 4:30pm) outside of office hours call Delta Wellbeing on 0300 333 2222.
The project run till the end of March 26. To find out more information, please contact the project via the following:
CETMA
Facebook – www.facebook.com/CETMACymru
Main email – info@cetma.org.uk
Phone Number – 01554556996
Website –www.cetma.org.uk
Red Brand Media
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/redbrandmediawales
Main email – info@redbrandmedia.org.uk
Phone Number – 01554 556886
Website – www.redbrandmedia.org.uk
Caru Sir Gar
Facebook – www.facebook.com/CaruSirGar
Email – editor@carusirgar.co.uk
Website – www.carusirgar.co.uk
Llanelli Standard
Facebook – www.facebook.com/llanellistandard
Email – editor@llanellistandard.com
Website – https://llanellistandard.com/
Reach Out
Facebook – www.facebook.com/ReachOutNewsWales
Email – editor@reachoutnews.co.uk
Website – https://www.reachoutnews.co.uk/
Llanelli LGBTQ+ Support Group
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/LlanelliLGBTQ
Main email – info@lgbtqplus.org.uk
Website – www.lgbtqplus.org.uk
